I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
