Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
