I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
