with your own penis?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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