i just had sex bonerless
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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