THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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