i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I deserve to be covered in dicks
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
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