you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
