i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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