just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
And then my night got REAL pukey
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
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