My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
