this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
