i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
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