chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
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