4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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