roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
