What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
