you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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