hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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