i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
