Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
