We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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