He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
