We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
