now i know why i became what i already was.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
