I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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