Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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