I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
