One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
