so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
