a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
