I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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