I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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