White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
