After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
