i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
where am i from again
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
