how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You are a genius and a whore.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
