Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
