Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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