Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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