ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
