How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
