The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Randomize
