so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
