Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
