The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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