We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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