I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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