he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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