Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
